[Friends Season 1x01] - The One where Monica gets a Roommate
- [First lines of the series]
- Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!
- Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
- Chandler: Alright Joey, be nice. [to Monica] So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
- Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?
- [The others stare, bemused]
- Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!
- Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.
- Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
- Ross: Oh no, no. Don't! Stop cleansing my aura.
- Phoebe: But...
- Ross: No. Just leave my aura alone, okay?
- Phoebe: Fine... be murky.
- Ross: I'll be fine. Really, you guys, I hope she'll be very happy.
- Monica: No, you don't.
- Ross: No, I don't! To hell with her! She left me!
- Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian?
- Ross: No! Okay? Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know. How should I know?
- Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. [everyone looks at him] Did I say that out loud?